I am Don MacAlister, Heather’s husband of forty-plus years, we were chatting the other day and she asked if I would write a recommendation for her for the work she does. Initially, I thought I should do this using a pseudonym as who is going to believe what a husband writes about his wife?
I gave this some further thought but there are so many people out there who know my story, I decided it was best to let you all have the real story to show you what Heather can achieve.
So around the age of six, in 1960 my mom explained to me that I was adopted & what it meant – little did I know then what a journey the rest of my life would become. In 1966 my mom & I arrived on holiday in South Africa to spend time with my father who was based in Cape Town as a ship’s Captain. We liked it & stayed.
I met Heather in 1977 & we married in 1979, in 1997 my mom died & for the first time in 43 years, I was comfortable to find out more about my birth mother, a subject I had shied away from while my adopted mom was alive. By this stage, Heather’s love of Genealogy had been blossoming for at least 7 years and she was taking her first tentative steps into starting her own business, she was already involved in helping people find out more about their families, it was a passion that her family history had ignited as she is one of eight children.
In 1998, Heather & I agreed that we were going to trace my Birth Mother, we approached it from two different angles, me through the official British adoption channels and Heather through the fast-developing computer internet world. We were lucky that my adopted mom and left a few clues in a diary she kept by her bedside, names & addresses gave Heather enough clues to work on, and she was soon certain that she had discovered who my mother was. At this stage, we were still waiting to hear back from the British adoption agency. At this stage we decided to take a chance & a social worker who had been helping me to accept and learn more about my adoption wrote a letter to the person we thought was my mother. (The British Agency would not release any records unless I had received counseling.
After a bit of a rocky start, my birth mother wrote back & we went across to England to meet her. We met & corresponded over the next few years, she would never tell me who my father was, eventually our relationship broke down – she could not cope with the situation – it was all too much for her – she was 39 when I was born and back in those days’ adoption & illegitimate children where not topics for discussion.
We eventually received my adoption file, where the name of my father was listed, so off to the UK again, we met and talked regularly but his health was not good, I flew to the UK and was with him on his last day alive. Heather was not going to give up and she eventually found my half-brother and off we went to the UK again – I was happy I now had a brother, or so we thought.
Up to this stage Heather’s research into my family was based on notes left by my mom, help from friends around the world, my adoption file & good old-fashioned determination, and detective work by Heather, but the world and Heather’s business was changing by the day, DNA testing was now the way to go & Heather’s business had an international footprint, she was working for clients & TV stations from all over the world.
After much thought, I had a DNA test as I wanted to ensure that I had found my family. The results came back in and they were not pointing in the direction that we had thought I had come from, I convinced my “brother” to take a test, and the results came back negative proving that he was not my brother and the gentlemen we had thought was my father, was not my father. My birth mother either put the wrong name on my adoption papers or did not know who my father was. Read more about Don’s Adoption story here.
So, it was back to the beginning again, but so much easier with the help of DNA, where the results are matched quickly around the world. To cut a long story very short Heather has now found my half-brother and sister – no doubt this time the DNA tests are all positive, we have visited my sister in the UK & she has been out here & we are off again next month.
Tracing your family or birth parents has become a lot easier, but I must warn you all that rushing in expecting to be welcomed with open arms does not always happen and many people can be hurt if you don’t follow the correct procedures and strike out on your own. In my case we were thrown off the scent by my birth mother giving wrong information to the adoption agency, even when you get a DNA match, I would advise checking out all possibilities, remember commercial DNA testing is relatively modern & just making assumptions can lead to heartache. What I am trying to say is that yes the test might prove that Mrs. Jones is your mother, but without DNA from the other side of the family Mr. Jones might not be your dad, so again tread lightly and ensure that you have the whole thing thoroughly checked by a professional.
It has taken Heather 30-plus years to get where she is in the world of Genealogy on the world stage, she has proven her dedication to me in tracking down my family & I am happy to recommend her to assist you in your searches. Contact Heather here.
